Dice 'n Buttons

Skavv’s Rant: Sex Dice

Let me first say that I recently bought a set of sex dice. Why am I complaining about them if I bought a pair? I’ll get to that, just wait a while. If you don’t know what sex dice are, let me start off by enlightening you.

In gaming terms, sex dice are the twisted lovechild of Spin the Bottle and Rock, Paper, Scissors. They always come in pairs, and are designed to be rolled together. One die has various body parts (mine has “ear, lips, above waist, below waist, breast, and ?”) written on it, while the other has titillating verbs on each side (lick, suck, eat, squeeze, blow, and kiss).

As avid gamers, you probably see where this is going; one partner rolls the dice, and is given a task, like “lick breast”. Both partners enjoy that arduous pastime for a while, and then they roll the dice again with their roles reversed, and continue. On paper, it all looks great.

Unfortunately, Sex Dice rarely end up providing such an enticing task. Rolling them several times, I was occasionally inspired by, but more often was perplexed by or afraid of the result. I imagined their instructions shouted out by some unseen arbiter with a poor grasp of English. They were watching us, my partner and I at their mercy:

“Kiss below waist!” …okay, this sounds like fun…
“Squeeze ear!” …that doesn’t sound like such a good idea…
“Eat lips!” …but she needs those for-
“Lick ear!” …No. That’s just silly. Why don’t you just…
“Blow ear!” …I just want to have sex! Why her ears?!

The problem with sex dice, I eventually decided, was the inclusion of certain body parts that are only pleasurable in specific contexts. “Eat” and “Ear” in particular just seemed to not belong. Thinking about ways to improve the game though, I was struck by an epiphany.

Instead of rolling dice, my partner and I could just be kissing one another. Or having sex.

The dice were completely unnecessary. Instead of rolling dice to determine what to do next, two partners should just let themselves get lost in the passion of the moment. Do what feels good. I’m no sex columnist, and this isn’t a sex blog, but really, I’m sure that you can figure out a better way to spend your time alone in bed with your favorite person than rolling dice.

As for why I bought my sex dice, I have xkcd to thank for that:

Keep your gaming where it should be: at the table. There are better things to do in bed. If you want to play a game, play “Who can last longer”, and have fun all night. Or maybe toss the dice in the freezer a while and find somewhere interesting to put them to make them more useful.

Until next time, happy gaming. 

Crossing the Line: Dungeons and Doctors (part 3)

After writing the earlier articles in my CROSSING THE LINE series, CROSSING THE LINE: DUNGEONS AND DOCTORS (PART 1) and CROSSING THE LINE: DUNGEONS AND DOCTORS (PART 2), I got some great feedback about the Angels, and decided to upload another post about them to fill them out a little more before I move on to the Silence, Daleks, Cybermen, and maybe even the Flesh.

These are designed to represent the old, starving angels, though you could work them into an encounter to represent a larger group of angels just as easily. Hope you enjoy them! 

Forgotten Assassin (Angel) 
Medium elemental humanoid (earth)
Level 6  Minion XP 65
Initiative + 11 Perception + 11
AC 18, Fortitude 17, Reflex 14, Will 17  
Speed 4
Touched by an Angel (standard; at-Will) • Physical
Attack: Melee 1 (one creature); +11 vs. AC
Hit: 7 damage.
The Weeping Angel reaches out with a stone claw, tearing into your armor with ease.
Temporal Feast (standard; encounter) • Physical
Melee; +10 vs. Fortitude; 1d6 + 6 damage, and the target must make two saving throws. If flanked, these saves are at a -2.
First failed save: the target loses 2 healing surges.
Second failed save: the target is lost in time and space, see below. The Attacker spends its next standard action restoring its body; it becomes a bloodied Lonely Assassin, and no longer a minion.
The Weeping Angel sinks its claws into your flesh, and you feel yourself pulled through a twisted rift in time!
Str 14(+5) Dex 11 (+3) Wis 12(+3)
Con 10 (+2) Int 12 (+3) Cha 11 (+3)
Alignment: evil languages: Common, angelic
Special Rules: 
Lost in time and Space: Any targets who fail both their saves after being hit by Temporal Feast is pulled through time and space, replenishing the Angel with the life force he would have lived in the current timeline. He is transported 7d12 miles in a random direction, and 2d6 + 50 years into the past. Characters older than 50 are transported 2d6 + 20 years into the past. These characters will always teleport to ground level, though they may teleport to open sea.
Stone forms: When seen, an Angel turns to stone. This requires no stealth check. A character can designate which Angels they are looking at at the start of their turn as a move action. If they do, they make a perception check (DC 15) + (5) for every additional angel, to a maximum of 2 (3 total). For every 5 points their check fails by, one Angel can move and attack on its turn. 
Forever Imprisoned: Angels that start their turns adjacent to one another must make a saving throw or be paralyzed.

Optional:
Angel Dust: Any characters who can see and begin their turn adjacent to an Angel take an attack against fortitude (+12). Attempts to scry on the angel suffer the same attack. Those hit must make a saving throw at the end of the encounter to avoid contracting Angel Dust. Preserved in their mind, an angel is attempting to become solid and burst forth, killing them in the process. Unlike normal diseases, those infected make their checks every 10 minutes as opposed to every extended rest.
Endurance Improve DC 26, maintain DC 22, worsen DC 21 or lower
Initial Effect: The target loses 1 healing surge that it cannot regain until cured.
Worsen: The target begins to hear voices, sand leaks from its eyes, and it begins to hallucinate.
Final State: The newly born Angel bursts through the skin of the target, killing it.

Keep in mind that this is the same disease as the higher-level one in my other post, and might well be the death of a lower level character simply because of the DCs required to survive it. If you want to be an asshole DM, more power to you. Alternately you could lower the DCs each by 4 or so. You have been warned.

REMEMBER THE FALLEN: HENDEK TRAVADIN

Hendek was only young by dwarf standards, his beard a light brown but still without grey. He kept his hair cut short, often seen traveling in a hat or hood. He rarely had trouble making friends, and more often than not found his way to a free meal with his bright green eyes, quick smile, and jolly demeanor. He was fast to laugh and trusted easily, often the center of attention with his card tricks and long stories about absolutely nothing.

For 52 years he had been groomed to inherit his father’s enterprise, though he passed before that could happen.

Hendek had, for the last ten years or so, been seeking out business partners for his father’s company. He had traveled to Redcliffe, Ostagar, Lothering, the South Reach, and Denerim along the West Road. 

He was loose with his money and morals, and could never stay in one place for long. He cared nothing for the politics that were“choking Orzammar like a kinky whore.” He preferred the comparatively adventurous life on the road, and could think of no better.

Hendek was one of my favorite characters. I rolled low stats for him, and it turned out that my highest one was cart-driving. So I decided to make a merchant, for the first time in my tabletop gaming history.

Our DM granted Hendek a large sum of gold early on, representing his familial business connections. When the road took our party into blight wolf infested forests, that gold proved a strong incentive for his death.

After weeks of snide, racist remarks from the party against dwarves, Hendek finally snapped. Surrounded by circling blight wolves, the party was grouped around a fire, where the wolves dared not tread. The howling around him and the insults to his race and culture finally drove Hendek to throw hmself at the party’s fighter, who easily turned with the attack (Hendek was no warrior) and tossed him into the darkness. Into the wolves.

The party wizard answered Hendek’s pained cries for help with a blaze of conjured lightning, silencing him, and many of the wolves, forever.

Hendek never even received a proper burial… the two rogues in the party took it upon themselves to “pay their respects” to him by robbing his corpse and throwing it penniless into the bushes.

Rest in peace Hendek; you are gone, but not forgotten. 

REMEMBER THE FALLEN

Memorial Day has always been a complicated holiday for me, mostly because of my opinions on war. On the one hand, it’s important to remember those who lay down their lives to protect their country. Those honorable men and women deserve our respect and support.

On the other hand, it has been a long time since the United States went honorably to war.  there are innumerable political alternatives to war, and I don’t believe that America pursues some of those alternatives to the extent that it should. War is man’s most wasteful invention, and I find it insulting to the living to give honor to war’s dead.

This blog isn’t about political rants though, it’s about gaming. War in gaming is celebrated more often than not, in games like Call of Duty, Halo, or Gears of War. Though these games generally show the darker side of war, they counterpoint that with exciting gameplay. Wargames are definitely lots of fun, but it’s important to remember the difference between the games and real life.

To blur that line a bit and make things a little more fun, I’m going to be posting obituaries for some of the more memorable DnD characters I have played with over the years. Feel free to submit any of your own! I’ll try to get them up today or tomorrow.

Crossing the Line: Dungeons and Doctors (part 2)

Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. And don’t blink. Good Luck. 
-The Doctor 

For me, the Weeping Angels are most terrifying foe of the Doctor Who universe. They move faster than one can imagine, but that movement is halted whenever they are seen. They generally don’t kill their foe, but instead imprison them by sending them back through time and space, feeding off of their life energy. In general they feed off of nearly any form of energy, so they can live in almost any conditions. In order to terrify players as much as the idea terrifies me… I have put them underwater.

Located outside Neverwinter along the Sword Coast, the Foamcrest Temple to Umberlee has been a popular place of worship for travelers along the coast for decades, even developing into a small village in itself. Lately though, the temple has gone eerily silent. Ships that leave it through the sheltered tunnels along the coast have began disappearing, never to make port again. From the lower crypts, caretakers have been found with their necks snapped, floating in the murky waters. 

Terrified, the remaining priestesses have sent for aid, asking any travelers to find out what is wrong with their temple. Those more skittish have even imagined that the statues, great angelic forms carved out of pale stone, have begun to move.

Lonely Assassin (Angel)
Medium elemental humanoid (earth)
Level 8 Skirmisher XP 350
Initiative +11     Perception +7
HP 94; Bloodied 47
AC 22; Fortitude 19, Reflex 21, Will 18
Immune: disease, poison          
Speed 12
Stone Claw (standard; at-will) • Physical
Melee; +13 vs. AC; 2d8 + 6 damage, and the target loses a healing surge.
The Weeping Angel slashes at you with a stone hand, tearing energy from your soul!
Temporal Feast (standard; recharge 4+) • Physical
Melee; +10 vs. Fortitude; 2d6 + 6 damage, and the target must make two saving throws. If flanked, these saves are at a -2.
First failed save: the target loses 2 healing surges.
Second failed save: the target is lost in time and space, see below. The Attacker regains any missing hitpoints.
The Weeping Angel sinks its claws into your flesh, and you feel yourself pulled through a twisted rift in time!
Alignment Neutral evil Languages: Common, Angelic (why not?)
Str 20 (+9)       Dex 20 (+9)   Wis 10 (+4)
Con 16 (+7)   Int 17 (+7)     Cha 10 (+4)
Equipment: none
Special Rules:
Lost in time and Space: Any targets who fail both their saves after being hit by Temporal Feast is pulled through time and space, replenishing the Angel with the life force he would have lived in the current timeline. He is transported 7d12 miles in a random direction, and 2d6 + 50 years into the past. Characters older than 50 are transported 2d6 + 20 years into the past. These characters will always teleport to ground level, though they may teleport to open sea.
Stone forms: When seen, an Angel turns to stone. This requires no stealth check. A character can designate which Angels they are looking at at the start of their turn as a move action. If they do, they make a perception check (DC 15) + (5) for every additional angel, to a maximum of 2 (3 total). For every 5 points their check fails by, one Angel can move and attack on its turn.
Forever Imprisoned: Angels that start their turns adjacent to one another must make a saving throw or be paralyzed.

Optional:
Angel Dust: Any characters who can see and begin their turn adjacent to an Angel take an attack against fortitude (+12). Attempts to scry on the angel suffer the same attack. Those hit must make a saving throw at the end of the encounter to avoid contracting Angel Dust. Preserved in their mind, an angel is attempting to become solid and burst forth, killing them in the process. Unlike normal diseases, those infected make their checks every 10 minutes as opposed to every extended rest.
Endurance Improve DC 26, maintain DC 22, worsen DC 21 or lower
Initial Effect: The target loses 1 healing surge that it cannot regain until cured.
Worsen: The target begins to hear voices, sand leaks from its eyes, and it begins to hallucinate.
Final State: The newly born Angel bursts through the skin of the target, killing it.

These are by no means your average Dungeons and Dragons foes, and using them can have drastic repercussions on your game. Players lost in time and space could conceivably be rescued by the Doctor, or return (many years older) as NPCs, but more likely they will be effectively dead. In dark tunnels, they are a terrifying foe.

Why are they in the world? Angels feed on energy. Every fantasy world is full of precious artifacts, forgotten gods, dimensional portals and cursed alters… any of these would serve as an excellent source of energy for a group of Lonely Assassins.

If you liked this, be sure to check out the rest in the series:
Crossing the Line: Dungeons and Doctors (part 1) 
Crossing the Line: Dungeons and Doctors (part 3)

THINKING ABOUT CHARACTER ATTRIBUTES: CHARISMA

Charisma is the all-encompassing attribute for personal magnetism, physical attractiveness, leadership, seduction, subtlety, and acting. In the right game it can be an important stat; no other attribute directly deals with social situations. If you aren’t a Paladin, Bard, or Sorcerer though, the chances are pretty good that Charisma was a dump stat. There are some great possibilities that a high Charisma opens up though, and having a low charisma will usually hurt you, at least emotionally, when you walk into town. How does your charisma affect your character? Here’s a good breakdown:

8…
is below average. Your character has something clearly off about his appearance or demeanor. You probably have a harelip, a stutter, or a disfiguring scar. Maybe you’re just eerily silent and look menacing. Jaws, from the Bond movies, has 8 charisma. Maybe you’re missing an eye or an ear. Ladies of the evening will probably charge extra.

10…
is pretty standard. You look unremarkable, speak clearly but with no particular skill, and though you may have a few minor social flaws, they are balanced by your strengths. John McClane (Die Hard) has 10 charisma.

12…
is above average. Nothing amazing, but certainly respectable. Han Solo would be a good example. You might look average, but have a great personality. Maybe you’re unusually friendly. Women don’t fawn over you, but you don’t have trouble finding one, either.

14…
is pretty damn high. You have a natural sense of leadership about you, and are definitely sure of yourself. That sense of confidence carries across to your appearance. Aragorn, son of Arathorn, has 14 charisma.

16…
is starting to reach the limits of human potential. If you don’t look stunning, you are incredibly persuasive. If you are familiar with The A-Team, you are Lt. Templeton “Face” Peck. People stop and stare for a moment as you walk by, and you are always the center of their attention. Conversation revolves around you wherever you go.

18… 
 is unbelievable. You are a charismatic icon, and a legend wherever you go. Women wing as you pass, and try to catch your eye. Jaime Lannister might have 18 charisma. If you have any physical flaws, they only make you more attractive. When you open your mouth, honey drips off your tongue. 

Personally, I think charisma is one of the most seldom used stats in a lot of games right now. It is the all-encompassing social stat, but when the player isn’t trying to bluff a guard, seduce a tavern wench (we’ve all done it), or intimidate information out of a bandit, it falls by the wayside. This is never more evident than in a dungeon crawl. Whenever possible, try to reward creative role playing. Does a player want to inspire hope in another character by giving him an inspiring speech? Make it a minor action, provided they actually dictate the speech.

As a player, when you plot out your charisma, think about how you want the world around you to react to your presence. Have you been scarred by some terrible trauma, physically or mentally, or both? Where did you learn your manners, and how is that carried over in your personality? How much luck have you had with the opposite sex? Do you obsess over your appearance, and if so, why? Who are you trying to impress?

And remember…

If you liked this, be sure to check out the rest of the set:
THINKING ABOUT CHARACTER ATTRIBUTES: STRENGTH
THINKING ABOUT CHARACTER ATTRIBUTES: INTELLIGENCE 
THINKING ABOUT CHARACTER ATTRIBUTES: WISDOM 
THINKING ABOUT CHARACTER ATTRIBUTES: CONSTITUTION
THINKING ABOUT CHARACTER ATTRIBUTES: DEXTERITY

Or check out my other articles on the Dungeon Map!
-Skavv 

Crossing the Line: Dungeons and Doctors (part 1)

“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big bowl of wibbly wobbly timey wimey… stuff.”
-The Doctor

For a while now I have wanted to include The Doctor in a DnD game, either as a cameo character or as part of an ongoing adventure. To that end, I have plotted out a set of stats for him for use in your world. This post will become a lot more fleshed out as I plot the stats for the Doctor’s items, foes, and for the TARDIS over the next week or two, so stay tuned for that. As an introduction however, here is the good Doctor himself: 

The Doctor
Medium natural humanoid (timelord)
Level 14 Controller  XP 1.000
Initiative +9     Perception +13
HP 124; Bloodied 62
AC 28; Fortitude 27, Reflex 25, Will 26
Immune: disease, poison         
Speed 6
Screwdriver Zap (standard; at-will) • Thunder • Sonic
Ranged 10; +19 vs. Fortitude; 1d4 + 6 sonic damage, and the target is stunned (save ends) and blinded (save ends)
The Doctor levels his sonic screwdriver and stuns you momentarily with a flash of light!
Secret Plan (minor; at-will) • Sonic • Psychic
Close burst 12; +15 vs. Will; the target is dazed, slowed, and weakened until the start of the Doctor’s next turn. After failing three saves against this affect, enemies can no longer attack the Doctor.
Talking fast, the Doctor casts doubt in your mind, pointing out a fatal flaw in your plans.
Shove (standard; at-will)
+15 vs. AC; 1d10+6 damage, and the target is pushed 4 squares and knocked prone. The Doctor can move 4 squares.
The Doctor roughly pushes you to one side, slipping past and making a break for the door.
Psychic paper (standard; recharge 5+) • Psychic
Close burst 5 (requires sight); +18 vs. Will; The target believes what is written on the paper. 
The Doctor whips out identification papers, an important letter, or signed warrant.
Alignment Chaotic good Languages: All
Str 14 (+9)       Dex 20 (+12)   Wis 23 (+13)
Con 19 (+11)   Int 23 (+13)     Cha 19 (+11)
Equipment: Sonic screwdriver, Psychic paper, The Doctor’s suit

The Doctor is a pacifist, and will avoid combat wherever possible. He will never fight to kill, only to secure his escape, or to utterly disable his opponent. The only exception to this is in the defense of an innocent, where the Doctor will do almost anything in his power to help. If things start to look dicey, he will use “Psychic paper” in order to justify his position and authority. Within combat, he will attempt to flee while using his “Screwdriver Zap” and “By the way…” to disable his opponents as much as possible.

Special Rules (optional)
The Doctor has 2 hearts, and as such is immune to effects that would kill him outright (he still takes damage from such attacks as normal).
If killed, the Doctor will regenerate after 2d10 rounds, with a new appearance and personality, but the same memories.

If you liked this, check out the rest of the series:
Crossing the Line: Dungeons and Doctors (part 2)
Crossing the Line: Dungeons and Doctors (part 3)

The Golden Rules, Part 1

Last week I ran a Gamma World game for a few friends; I had very little time to prepare the crunch of the one-shot, only about half an hour. Off the top of my head I plotted out a few likely locations, and thumbed through the book, reskinning a few enemies or just jotting their names and page numbers down on a seperate pad. I felt pretty confident that I would be able to handle whatever the party threw at me; I critically failed my wisdom save.

The party spoke to a bartender/mayor of a small village, who gave them the quest hook, and then to my surprise, they pulled a gun on him and initiated combat. I had no stats for the bartender or the patrons of the bar.

Rather than slow things down by finding something that sounded like a bartender, I went back to the First Golden Rule of DMing: “When in doubt, make something up and move on”. I pulled up the stats for the raiders I had stashed for later, and flipped to a sort of mini-boss from the back of the book. I took a point off the raiders’ defenses, and I nerfed the mini-boss a little bit, and then rolled initiative.

A short combat later, some of the tavern patrons lay pooled in their own blood while others ran for cover, the tavern itself had three large holes in it (grenades and fire), and the players couldn’t have been happier. Sure, they had killed the bartender and several of his customers for almost no reason at all, but Gamma World is a rough place. Shit happens. Most importantly, they had fun. They decided to do something, and as the DM I went ahead and let them do it.

This brings me to the Second Golden Rule of DMing: “If you don’t know, and can’t think of an answer, roll a d6”. On a high number, the answer is yes. For example…

Does the gun I found work? 
How much ammo do I find?
How many floors does the building have?
How many people are in the bar? 
How many stand and fight?
Roll it! 

You get the idea. Of course if you have a plan for where the party is, go with that. As a time saver though, these tips can make the difference between a slow, grating exploration and thrilling discovery.